So MoZ got to interview Sunny Leone. Of course, she will not tell you. We are too downmarket for her (yet). This is like the time Mimoh refused to give us an interview (You can click on Mimoh to Google him. We’re nice guys.) Now he calls everyday and we can’t be assed. Because we’re cool like that.
ADMIN’S NOTE : WHY IS THIS NOT EDITED? ALSO WHO TOOK MY COOKIES AGAIN? ALSO I THINK THIS IS FAKE.
Sunny : My face is up here.
MoZ : What? Ah, yes, of course, there is no reason why it should be somewhere else …
Sunny : That’s better. Now please start the interview. I’m really busy these days. Mahesh Bhatt has some scripts for me.
MoZ : Mahesh Bhatt has scripts?
Sunny : Very funny.
MoZ : That would rhyme when we publish this.
Sunny : What?
MoZ : Nothing. Sorry. So, Sunny! How are you dealing with all the attention?
Sunny : Nothing to worry about. I have 70 year old men managing my profiles on Facebook to which everyone subscribes like it’s the real thing.
MoZ : You mean it’s not real?
Sunny : No. Not my Facebook profile.
MoZ : Aaaand?
Sunny : And my voice dubbing.
MoZ : AAAAAND?
Sunny : What?
MoZ : Not very bright are you. Anyway. We’ll start from the beginning of your career. How did you ..
Sunny : Well I always wanted to work in adult fil…
MoZ : Hey time machine, not that far back. Let’s just start from that show where a bunch of people screw around in that house.
Sunny : The Mansion? That was my first group…
MoZ : No! No! We mean Bigg Boss. Not literally screwing of course. (Admin’s note : Let’s not use literally here, it’s a tough word to get.)
Sunny : Oh! I was given lots of love by the family there. It was a learning experience as I discovered myself.
MoZ : …
Sunny : No, really. It taught me a lot of things. Like uh, uh, uh…
MoZ : …
Sunny : Uh…
MoZ : So, moving on. Why films?
Sunny : Well I’ve always been confident in front of a camera..
MoZ : We know.
Sunny : So Maheshji had this really intelligent script…
MoZ : Why didn’t you do it then?
Sunny : I did! Jism 2!
MoZ : Oh. Yes. Right. What did you like about the script? (Admin’s note: Call it a script one more time and I’ll cancel your cheques)
Sunny : Well it was a really exciting script. I read it thrice and I still don’t know who the killer is.
MoZ : Uh…
Sunny : And I am a big fan of Maheshji’s films. Which was the one where the naked girl gets killed?
MoZ : All of them.
Sunny : Right. So when he came with the offer, I instantly said yes. The script seemed to have been written with me in mind.
MoZ : Quite literally. (Admin’s note: Again, that word.)
Sunny : And the lovemaking scenes were so aesthetically shot…
MoZ : We haven’t heard that before.
Sunny : Hey! Let me finish talking! Now where was I?
MoZ : How has the reception to Jism 2 been?
Sunny : Amazing! The people here love me. I’ve been getting praise from all over. The film has had one of the biggest openings in a while.
MoZ : But the critics panned it.
Sunny : So what! Maheshji never liked critics anyway. Said they didn’t know what they were doing.
MoZ : The feeling was mutual. Anyway, what are your future plans? More films?
Sunny : Yes! There are talks of Jism 3.
MoZ : Oh God.
Sunny : What?
MoZ : Nothing. I … uh .. it’s Tuesday, forgot to say my prayers.
Sunny : Oh. I appreciate that. Anyway, I want to do a biopic sometime. (Admin’s note: She said that? Biopic?)
MoZ : Who would you like to play?
Sunny : A powerful woman, an icon for millions, something like that, you know.
MoZ : And I’m Barney the fucking dinosaur.
Sunny : Why do you keep muttering under your breath? As I was saying, I love it here in India. I’m something of a style icon here. I love that.
MoZ : Of course you are. Now, we’ll wrap this up. Any words to your fans?
Sunny : Tell them I love them!
MoZ : Yes, I’ll tell all 3 of them. Actually, 2. You can tell Mahesh.
Sunny : …
MoZ : Ji.
Sunny : Better.
MoZ : And what do you think of MoZ?
Sunny : Oh I love it! I read it like all the time. (Admin’s note: Now I’m sure you made this interview up.)
MoZ : Well Sunny, it was nice talking to you. We wish you all the success in films. Now can you give me the script to Jism 2? I need to clear some doubts here.
Sunny : We, uh, lost it. Like, long back.
MoZ : Before shooting right?
Sunny : This interview is over.
(This interview is a work of fiction. Only a fool would take anything posted here seriously. Just like the film.)