Heavy Pun-eer dosage

I used to be extremely lazy in school. The only exercise I ever did during the P.T. class was bench press. Basically, pressing my heavy head against the bench and dozing off. And then of course, if the teacher noticed ; we were made to sit among the girls. And I always had to sit near this blonde girl called Rosario. I used to call her ‘Babe-koof’, which was a combination of Babe and Bevakoof [A word in Hindi for idiot].

But life in school is not that easy. We have deep universal questions to answer. We are expected to ‘conquer’ science and arts. Why is Neil’s arm so strong? And why is the moon white? Well that is a very personal question you see. Neil Armstrong was sent to the moon in isolation. Hence, his right arm gradually became stronger, and the moon whiter. Where is Golconda? Is it Anaconda’s cousin? Is Barrack Obama the head of the army? Because his name is ‘Barrack’ Obama? Well, I had no time to figure out such mind numbing questions.

Instead I’d watch Uncle Scrooge, Duck Tales and Tales Pin on Disney Hour. Uncle Scrooge always inspired me. When I looked at others who would slurp in almost every bit of information that the teacher spat out. I used to wonder if I were a lazy rat. But then, Uncle Scrooge made me believe that I was never a part of the rat race. I was already there, across the finish line, yawning and eating eclairs. Jumping in my pool of eclairs, like Uncle Scrooge did. Only that, for him eclairs meant money and gold coins. I am not fighting for a reward. You want to race ahead of me. Go, go. Run faster than my loosemotions. Give me eclairs instead.

Everyone runs. Everyone works. And then they retire. Of course, retirement is important. You can’t work for a lifetime. Even Rakhi Sawant will face sagging boobs and dropping popularity. Even Rajat Sharma will face hairfall. Even Arnab Goswami would one day become a tortoiseshell having a fit in a plate of tomatoes. Rafi’s voice had also become Roughy when he had retired. The point is to retire every night. Chill out. Love what you do. Don’t stress out your neurons too much. It might lead to baldness. Work with a smile. Have some akhrot beer. Burp and doze off.

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