Greetings. My name is NotSrijan. I like you.

This was written on 7/5/2011, and consists of me hating on mainstream media. Which I do pretty often. Which makes it awesome, because haters love to hate. Don’t you?


1) Man forced to change name speaks up against UK company


Rahul Jain was ‘forced’ to change his name to Rob something as demanded by his employer (Who happens to be of Indian origin) in a UK firm. Rob, oops, Rahul claims he’s the first one to ‘speak up against the malpractices of the company’. Media adopts pro-Rahul stance.


Hard luck, Rahul. Your employer made you temporarily, for the purpose of customer interaction (most of which are British and thus apt to speak in Tom Alter accents when attempting Hindi names) , change into an easier to remember, accessible and spell-checkable name. Marx would’ve shed manly, red tears at your mistreatment here. Even though it was specified in your contract, and does not translate into ‘suppressing your Indian identity’, you spoke up. Thank you for paving the way for thousands of air hostesses who can freely accuse airlines of ‘suppressing their inner beauty’ by insisting they look good. Like a popular pan masala ad says, in Angrezon ne hum par 200 saal tak raaj kiya hai, ab hamari bari hai. Colour the roads in your communist colours, now.JUST IN:  Alexander’s descendants accuse India of racism for calling him Sikander and thus toying with his Macedonian identity.


Move over Anna, Dis be da shizz, yo.

2) Australia brings anti-Hijab law, some sections cry foul


Some sections? This is as awesome as Clark Kent’s glasses disguise. But hey, that worked too.Anyway, some sections (:P) claim that such laws requiring people to prove their identity in case of suspicion are highly anti-constiitutional need to turn their heads North-Westwards to  a certain nation where a religious law is applied uniformly to all residents and women cannot drive, irrespective of their nationality and nothing short of diplomatic immunity will save them from punishment which will make their next 6 generations stick to public transport exclusively.


There used to be a real funny picture here, but I got spooked.

Now, welcome to Australia. We hope you enjoy your stay. And I have heard Foster’s is not very popular there.



3) Dominique Strauss-Kahn embroiled in yet another controversy


It’s kind of funny how international politics plays like a highschool movie where everyone is banging everyone else, everyone is bitching about everyone else, people form little groups to kick the nerds’ asses who will never actually become awesome because this movie does not have an ending. If there’s one thing Wikileaks taught us, don’t wake up in strange places.


Well, if I was a world leader …

The head of one of the world’s most important (not too sure but hey) financial institutions was undone because of the sleaziest of reasons. All this change and brainstorming about the next chief because of his indiscretions. Well, the new chief is a lady. She has immunity of sorts, though she should be in the kitchen 😛


4) Eat more nuts everyday for instant energy

Does not compute. Grab a generic cola-flavoured fizzy drink. Sugar, caffeine, tastes better than nuts 😛


5)Mayawati’s 15-minute long opus Commercials show her accomplishments and statues, mostly statues. Guess what this needs?


A bit of Micheal Bay 😉

There used to be a real funny picture here, but I got spooked.


Oh and yeah, BSNL rolls out OBC CUG plan for ‘OBC(Other Backward Classes) class people specially to connect people from the same castes’





And oh yeah, it’s actually 5/7. Their dates are stealing our cultural identity 🙁 *grabs Rajnigandha*



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