Your favorite films slip up now and then too, you know. Here’s a list of 10 of the most preposterous plot holes. Keep in mind that we’re not quite sure what’s the difference between a plot hole and a goof, and we’re unwilling to Google it. Still, enjoy the article.

 

10. Transformers (2007)

As screenwriters go, Michael Bay is not exactly Hitchcock.  The first Bay film I ever saw was Armageddon, and my reaction to that was “Who is this man, and why does he mock all that is good and wonderful about movies?”.  This entry is the lowest ranked because it’s relatively minor, but it could change everything about the film. Keep in mind that every Bay film has tons of plot holes, this is just the one we like the most.

THE HOLE: Barricade (the Decepticon who transforms into a police car) hunts down Sam and yells “Are you user LadiesMan217?”. That’s Sam’s eBay username. The Decepticons have apparently found his account and noticed he’s selling his grandfather’s glasses online. They need the glasses to find out where the government is hiding Megatron (don’t ask) and so they find Sam to try and force him into giving them the glasses.

Casting Megan Fox was Michael Bay’s way of distracting us from the plot holes. It almost worked.

How is that a hole? : Early in both Transformers and its sequel Revenge Of The Fallen, the decepticons send lowly drones into sophisticated US government establishments, where they somehow hack into the US military network with ridiculous ease. And yet, even after the Decepticons find Sam’s eBay page where’s he auctioning the glasses, their first instinct is to attack him and scream abuses and threats at him. They could have just, you know, hacked into someone else’s eBay account, changed the shipping address to somewhere convenient, and bought the damn glasses over the internet. Seriously, the Decepticons can hack into one of the most secure and closely guarded networks into the world like it’s child’s play, but eBay is somehow impenetrable?

Realistically: The Decepticons secretly buy the glasses, thus avoiding detection by the Autobots. In a surprise attack, Megatron is freed and the Earth is enslaved. Optimus Prime is never summoned to Earth by Bumblebee, who remains a dingy old Corvette for the rest of his life. Which is fine by us, because that whole silent act of his was kinda pervy.

 

9. Snakes On A Plane (2006)

We just found a plot hole in a movie starring Samuel L. Jackson. *looks over shoulder in fear*

THE HOLE: Troy (the character played by Kenan Thompson from classic sitcom Kenan & Kel) takes control of the plane after the pilots have been, you know, killed by snakes.  He flies the plane solely based on his experiences with a PlayStation 2 flight simulator, with which he’s docked 2000 hours of flight. Despite this, he (somewhat) safely lands the plane, saving the survivors.

“I’ve had with these motherf***king holes in this motherf**king movie!”

How is that a hole? For one simple reason. There is NO flight simulator on the PS2 for planes like that. None. Nil, Nada, Zilch. Negatori, morning glory. So there is no way for Troy to have clocked the 2000 hours of flying experience that he claims.

Realistically: After the snakes kill most of the people on board, the survivors, including Samuel L. Jackson, are killed when the plane is crashed by a bumbling moron. But everyone knows you can’t kill Samuel L. Jackson, so the universe just ends then and there.

 

8. I Am Legend (2007)

I weeped tears of sorrow when I watched this movie. Mainly because I had to watch Will Smith snap a dog’s neck. I don’t care what you say, there is never a good enough reason to snap a dog’s neck. Even if the aforementioned dog is snapping your neck.

THE HOLE: Will Smith and two of the survivors of the plague are cornered by the darkwalkers, and as a last resort, Will Smith passes the antidote to the female survivor, allows her to escape with the child through a chute, grabs a grenade and charges into the darkwalkers. The grenade explodes, killing him as well as all the darkwalkers present. The woman and the boy escape to a human settlement, where they hand the antidote to some random guy who nods meaningfully, and humanity is presumably saved when the humans mass produce the antidote.

Scientist. Soldier. Dog murderer.

How is that a hole? Why did he do that?  Why on earth was it necessary to sacrifice himself?  There was enough space in the chute for him to escape too.  He could have just chucked the grenade at the darkwalkers, and jumped down the chute with the woman and the boy. The darkwalkers would have been blown up, and the only person in the world who even knows how to use the antidote would have survived. Think about it. Even if the human settlement had a THOUSAND survivors, what are the odds that there’s a genetic researcher with a specialization in virology among them? And even if there is, what are the odds they have the means or the equipment to mass produce the antidote?  This is post-freaking-apocalypse we’re talking about.  And keep in mind that the antidote is based on Will Smith’s blood, so if they accidentally destroy the sample he gave them, they’re f**ked.

REALISTICALLY: Here’s what’s most likely:  The human settlement receives the antidote, and no one has the slightest clue what to do with it. They eventually starve to death because all the vital resources are surrounded by bloodthirsty darkwalkers, or the darkwalkers find them first and eat them all.

 

7. Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009)

Yup, Michael Bay again. Somehow we’re not surprised.

THE HOLE: After they rescue the ancient transformer JetFire from an airplane museum, Megan Fox and some guys who aren’t important are magically transported by him to Petra in the Middle Eastern country of Jordan. They must now travel to Cairo to locate the Tomb Of The Primes, where they will gain the ability to revive Optimus and stop the Fallen from destroying the Solar System (please don’t ask). So they hop into a dinky old tourist car and zoom off to Cairo!

Michael Bay placed the fate of the solar system in the hands of this guy.


How is that a hole? Oh, just this tiny detail about Petra and Cairo being hundreds of freaking miles apart. But somehow, even though they’re only travelling in a regular car, they make the journey in 6 minutes.

Realistically: Our valiant heroine and her male entourage that nobody cares about take about a day and a half to reach Cairo, by which time the Fallen has taken advantage of Optimus’ continued lack of life, torn open the roof of the pyramid and blown up the Solar System. Tough break, kids.

6. Star Trek (2009)

JJ Abrams’ 2009 reboot was a good one; it met with the approval of new fans and old Trekkies alike. There’s just one detail that makes no freaking sense whatsoever.

THE HOLE: After being sucked into the black hole created by Spock Prime’s red matter bomb, Nero is transported into the past, to a time just before the births of Kirk and Spock.  He destroys the USS Kelvin, killing Kirk’s father. The next time he reappears is 25 years later, when he attacks Vulcan and completely destroys the planet as an act of revenge against Spock.

All he really needed was a hug.

 

How is that a hole? Simply because Nero was missing for 25 YEARS before he re-appeared and attacked Vulcan. No Federation planet reported seeing his ship or its crew anywhere. And why wait that long? He could have killed Kirk and Spock when they were defenceless children. Why on earth would he wait 25 years, during which they would develop the knowledge and skills that they employed to ultimately defeat him?
And his ship wanders the galaxy aimlessly for 25 years, and not one crew member raises concerns or objections to this?

Realistically: A deleted scene from the movie that was included in the DVD explains this. In it, Nero is captured by a Klingon war bird and imprisoned for 25 years. He escapes at roughly the same time that Spock and Kirk are ready to graduate from Starfleet.
If you haven’t seen the deleted scene, however, the only logical conclusion is……..we don’t know. What the hell do we assume from this, that Nero was content to sit around twiddling his thumbs for 25 years?

 

5. The Hangover (2009)

The funniest R-rated comedy in years. We all laughed at The Hangover, and damn near burst into applause when Zach Galfin….Galafik….Galafiaks…..whatever got decked by Mike Tyson. One small hole, though, makes all the events of the movie a tad strange.

THE HOLE: After running around Vegas for over 24 hours, Alan has an epiphany: Doug is on the roof of the hotel! So they race back to Caesar’s Palace, pick up Doug and dash him off to his wedding on time.

Things happened that night. Unforgivable things.

How is that a hole? Why exactly was Doug just sprawled on the roof for all that time? Over 24 hours, and he didn’t bother budging an inch? Why did he just sit there for all that time? The other guys were drunk off their asses too, and they could still steal a police car, run around Vegas, get tasered in the nuts, punched out by Mike Tyson, haul a tiger around the city, win $80,000 at the casino and make a deal with a Chinese gangster. Hell, in 127 Hours, James Franco was trapped in a crevice for 5 days, at the end of which he chops off his arm, scrambles out and walks a mile till he finds a family of hikers. Doug can’t get off his ass for almost 2 days.  Fine, the roof door can’t be opened from the roof, but he could have yelled or banged on it, someone would have eventually noticed after all that time. And if he could throw his bed down from the roof, couldn’t he have just climbed on the wall and got people’s attention?

Realistically: Doug just didn’t want to get married. And we don’t blame him, Tracy seemed pretty uptight.

 

4. Spider-Man 2 (2004)

Sam Raimi’s 2004 sequel was a critical and commercial success; it’s arguable that the later glut of superhero films like Batman Begins, The Dark Knight and Watchmen wouldn’t have been possible without the attention this film brought to the genre. So why is it on this list?

THE HOLE: Harry Osborne tells Doc Ock that only Peter Parker knows how to find Spider-Man. Doc Ock tracks Peter down to a cafe and flings a goddamn car straight at him.

 

Pictured: A  man of logic and rationality.

HOW IS THAT A HOLE? Doc Ock doesn’t know Peter is Spider-Man!  He has to hunt down Peter and interrogate him to find out Spidey’s location. He decides to do this by flinging a car at him. If Peter wasn’t a superhero, he would have been killed on the spot. And Doc Ock would have looked really silly shaking his corpse and demanding answers.

REALISTICALLY: Doc Ock ran out of Prozac.

3.  Batman Begins (2005)

Christopher Nolan’s gritty reboot rescued a franchise that had become synonymous with camp, and made him a household name.  He followed it up with The Dark Knight , a movie that would should have been radically different considering the massive plot hole in the first film.

THE HOLE: Having dumped Scarecrow’s fear toxin into Gotham’s water supply, Ra’s Al Ghul and his men turn on the microwave emitter and begin vaporising the fear toxin, as it’s only effective in vapor form. Their plan is stopped by NA-NA-NA-NA-NA BATMAN! who destroys the emitter. The remaining toxin is in it’s inactive liquid form, so we don’t need to care, right? Right?

Sane men don’t beat up thugs at night while dressed as a giant flying rat.

HOW IS THAT A HOLE? Firstly, we’re told  that the microwave emitter vaporises all water within it’s radius. But the human body is 65-70% water, depending on who you ask, and so you’d have a lot of people within the emitter’s radius exploding from the inside. And even after the emitter is destroyed, the problem really isn’t solved. The liquid toxin is still in the water supply. “Ah ha!”, I hear you say. “The toxin is only active in it’s vapor form! Batman doesn’t need to worry!”.

Here’s what happens. Your 83 year old grandmother wakes up one morning to prepare tea for the entire family as she has done for the past 22 years. She sets the water to boil, and (surprise, surprise!) the water turns to steam. The toxin is now in vapor form, and boom, she’s gone insane.

Your hot mom wakes up at 6:30 to take a hot shower. The steam slowly settles in and boom, she’s gone insane.

These are just 2 examples from one household. Do you know how many people in a city boil water everyday? They’re all now insane.  In the film, a cop who’s affected by the toxin points a gun at a child because he thinks he’s a demon. Now imagine an entire city filled with people like that.

REALISTICALLY: The Dark Knight should really have just been a 2 hour video of the Joker feverishly gunning down the crazed citizens attacking him every minute of every day.

2.EVERY JAMES BOND MOVIE EVER MADE, FROM DR. No (1962) TO Quantum Of Solace (2008)

Ian Fleming’s fictional spy/assassin/womanizer/all round badass is one of the most famous pop culture characters ever created. Even Fleming’s death in 1964 didn’t kill Bond, as writers from Kingsley Amis to Jeffrey Deaver have continued the franchise. So why is it that none of us have ever questioned the plot hole?

THE HOLE: We’ve all seen it; it’s one of the most famous lines in history. After accomplishing some feat of badassery, our renegade spy whips around and proclaims to all and sundry: “The name’s Bond. James Bond.”

“And I don’t quite give a fook, laddie.”

HOW IS THAT A HOLE? You know what kind of spy tells anyone who’ll listen what his name is? A dead spy, that’s what kind. Bond doesn’t even take care to kill the people who know his real identity. What’s to stop one of them from giving his name and description to the police squad investigating the scene of his latest rampage?

REALISTICALLY: As complaints pour in from governments across the globe, the Brits have no choice but to retire Bond immediately. They post him in a dinky villa near the South of France, where he dies an old man, filled with regret.

That’s the pleasant solution. It’s far more likely that his name and description circulate among intelligence agencies all over the world, and while he’s on a mission a rival sniper rifle blows off most of his face when he’s not looking.

 

1. Superman (1978)

Despite the fact that Batman is so much cooler, Superman remains the most famous superhero of all time. Richard Donner’s 1978 film put the superhero genre on the map and made Christopher Reeve a legend. He also attempted to kill us all.

THE HOLE: Superman averts Lois Lane’s death by reversing the rotation of the Earth, thus turning back time and saving her life. No, we are not making this up.

The Last Son Of Krypton. The Man Of Tomorrow. The Physicist From Hell.

HOW IS THAT A HOLE? Oh wow. Let’s walk through this, step by step. To reverse the Earths rotation you’d have to stop it first, and then change the direction of its spin. Stopping the rotation alone would unleash cataclysmic earthquakes and tidal waves across the globe, wiping out hundreds of millions of people. And given the speed at which the Earth rotates, stopping it that suddenly would send a LOT of people flying off into space. Changing the rotation would also alter weather patterns, ocean currents and seasonal climate changes. All in all, Lois Lane remains dead, along with billions of people The Man Of Steel just murdered.

REALISTICALLY: All the above happens, and a traumatized Superman goes home, lies down on his couch and tries to forget he even existed.

Lie down and think about what you just did, goddamit.

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